It’s Been A While
Jul. 17th, 2024 09:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cjssysOur fits of online journaling continue to be sporadic at best. Officially an adult, terrified of learning to drive and we’re doing our best to detach.
I’d like to report that our current front-running group and major decision makers have no attachment to the family. It’s less of something that’s come on because of age and more growing dissent. As we’ve aged and been moved around our abusers have shifted, several of them retreating from their old tactics of tormenting us so we no longer NEED to fawn. Alongside some seemingly dedicated attempts to break up the family circle from the father and his second family, we’re reassured in our stance of annoyed indifference regarding their (poor) life choices. It definitely makes dealing with them and our future easier.
Another topic I wanted to discuss here was our ability to socialize. There’s an aversion to all social behavior and I wouldn’t just call it anxiety. Misanthropy, perhaps? It quickly becomes overstimulating and with some few individuals we can quickly immerse ourselves in conversation and enjoy it but forcing ourselves to talk to them is a chore. Very rapid feelings of inappropriate resentment and anger come and we isolate ourselves for long periods. I don’t understand why and it gets in the way of our social bonds. We’ll continue to survive but this isn’t helping. We’ve barely kept friends our whole lives and now we can barely handle two at once without neglecting something or someone.
Whatever. I suppose this is a sufficient life update.
I’d like to report that our current front-running group and major decision makers have no attachment to the family. It’s less of something that’s come on because of age and more growing dissent. As we’ve aged and been moved around our abusers have shifted, several of them retreating from their old tactics of tormenting us so we no longer NEED to fawn. Alongside some seemingly dedicated attempts to break up the family circle from the father and his second family, we’re reassured in our stance of annoyed indifference regarding their (poor) life choices. It definitely makes dealing with them and our future easier.
Another topic I wanted to discuss here was our ability to socialize. There’s an aversion to all social behavior and I wouldn’t just call it anxiety. Misanthropy, perhaps? It quickly becomes overstimulating and with some few individuals we can quickly immerse ourselves in conversation and enjoy it but forcing ourselves to talk to them is a chore. Very rapid feelings of inappropriate resentment and anger come and we isolate ourselves for long periods. I don’t understand why and it gets in the way of our social bonds. We’ll continue to survive but this isn’t helping. We’ve barely kept friends our whole lives and now we can barely handle two at once without neglecting something or someone.
Whatever. I suppose this is a sufficient life update.
